Friday, 15 August 2008
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time to emo vomit
After hoarding up my emotions for weeks now, it is time to vomit them all out at once on my blog so you'll be sure to have an unbalanced view of my life and thoughts.
I. HATE. BEING. SINGLE.
hatehatehatehatehateHATE it.
hate.
Before my first boyfriend I didn't understad why people bitched about being single like it's a disease. Now after going through my first relationship and breakup, I understand completely. After your first break-up, there's this used feeling. Like you've been thrown away. You are unwanted, unloved and on top of that, you can't even find half of your heart.
It's been overcast for about a week and my mood is reflecting the weather. If it keeps raining, I'm going to have to take a vacation to California. I need sun! I need cooperative weather!
While I'm foaming at the mouth to go back to school and regain my social life, I'm also painfully aware that before the semester even starts, I'm making a decision that will pretty much kill my chances of getting a date this year: I'm going public as the president of my campus's Gay-Straight Alliance.
It's something I want to do and I've been planning for months, but the price will be other students assuming that I'm gay and I'm not. I like guys! I would like to date guys and the sooner the better!
In other news, I finished my book proposal and emailed my first inquiry letter yesterday. I'm planning to mail a proposal to Jossey-Bass this week. Go ME!!
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Comments (1)
I understand about that used feeling. Before I was in a relationship with my fiancee, my first serious relationship, I didn't understand what all the hullabaloo was about. After we broke up, I have since felt that used and unwanted feeling, like a crushed beer can that has been thrown onto the side of the highway. You feel like you gave it everything you had and you now have nothing left to give, and as a result nobody will ever want you again.
And I think the GSA is something to be proud of. While it may not offer the best prospects for a boyfriend just because there are so many closed-minded people out there, it is an organization that is very much for moral and social progress. Ever since my eyes were opened, I have always admired them.
Congrats on the book, by the way! I have downloaded it and been reading it myself, and it has already been helping me. I sure hope it gets published because there are so many people out there who could benefit from it.